I am not sure why but Zen has been restless in his sleep this past week. On an average night he starts out in the cradle and then makes his way into bed at half past very late to nurse. He usually then stays cozy in my arms until about 7:30. No, I do not sleep until 7:30, although that would be awesome. I sneak my arm away Ross-style (if you have ever watched Friends you should totally understand the reference. If you haven’t, well, maybe you need to) and he stays asleep for about an hour or so after I get up.
This past week he has not stayed cozy in my arms. He has been restless. He has tossed and turned, flipped, rolled, sat up (yes while asleep), laid on me, laid on Mark, and sleep crawled…into the wall.
The crazy thing is he keeps doing it. Seriously one would think that even in your sleep if you crawl into a wall you would stop trying to go forward. He keeps it up while we clumsily try to stop him in our sleepy-eyed state. I can’t decide if I am amused by this or not. He isn’t hitting hard enough to hurt himself, but one would think it can’t be great for him either. However, if you could see the silly lad crawling on our bed straight into the wall you would probably chuckle.
It was 2 AM. Zen flipped, tossed, flopped onto Mark’s face (yes I laughed), and then sleep crawled into the wall yet again I decided this was ridiculous. I gathered him up and he and I sat in the living room in The Chair. It is our sanctuary. The Chair is where we sit when it is time for some snuggles, drive-by loves, breastfeeding snacks, breastfeeding meals, and naps. I always put him to sleep in The Chair. When Zen is done with me it is where Mark puts him to sleep. The Chair is magical. OK, maybe it really isn’t magical but Zen knows it and associates it with coziness. It is an old beast but The Chair is a part of the family.
Sure enough as soon as I got settled into The Chair Zen slept peacefully in my arms while I dozed. Thankfully The Chair is large and soft so sleeping in it isn’t as bad as it could be. I was fine until I got cold. By then it was nearly 7. I made my way back to bed and was greatly annoyed that Elf was in my bed. I kicked Mark’s foot to wake him so he could removed the child (read “the child” with a note of disdain because I was so not amused that she was in my bed. The rule is she is welcome in our room but she has to stay on the floor.)
I climbed into bed which was no easy feat as C-Dog was on the floor on my side of the bed. Apparently Zen wasn’t the only restless child in the wee hours of sleep. I laid down and not a minute later Zen became restless again. ERG! I did doze until about 7:30 while Mark tried to deal with Zen, but I finally just got up. I brought him back to The Chair. The Magical Chair. He settled into my arms and I could feel tension slip away from him. At this point it was late enough in the morning that he was not going to go back to sleep so we simply cuddled for a bit and I looked into his saucer-wide blue eyes.
He is now happily crawling and playing. He has been all over the house. He has even stopped for a drive-by snack as I sit and type this. I am exhausted. I have no idea where his energy is coming from. I am slightly jealous and sightly in awe.
I have no clue what is wrong with Zen. I have no clue why he sleep crawls. Weirdo. The only thing I know is that at 2 AM I was not annoyed. Sure being tired sucks. Having a restless baby is no fun. However, I love this little guy. He is the product of something beautiful. I hate to see him not getting the rest his little body needs. I was grateful for his warm snugly body. I was thankful The Chair worked. This is a short season. I will treasure it. I know too well how fast the years go. It seems only yesterday Bug was snugly in my arms and now he rolls his eyes and wears trendy cloths. Sigh.
To the new Mommas out there, you are not alone. We understand you are tired and frustrated. It is so cliche, but it it true that the days are long and the years are really short. Deep breath. You can do this. To all the Mommas whose babies are grown, take a moment and appreciate the fact you made it! Congratulations! Now go get some sleep! To all the women who do not have children, please be patient. We understand you cannot fathom our lives but please still be a part of our lives. Parenting takes a lot of energy. We need you to be there for us to remind us that there is a whole entire world beyond The Chair.