I think 2014 was better than 2013, but 2013 was a mixed year; sweet Zen arrived but Mark lost his job and my grandma died. Was it better or worse than 2014? A baby sure is a pretty amazing thing, but so much “yuck” happened also. As I sit and think about it 2014 was mixed also; we moved back to MO (yay!) but we are still struggling to get back on our feet. It is hard. Every time we feel like we are getting ahead something happens. I could rattle the list out for you, but I am not sure if it would be uplifting (some really cool things happened) or depressing (some really yucky things happened).
I think I will refrain from the list and instead simply say “Good-bye 2014. I will take the lessons I learned and apply them to my life as best I can. I will remember what needs to be remembered and I will let what needs to stay in the past, in the past. Thank you for the good times. Thank you for time in general because it does pass all too quickly.”
“Hello 2015. What will you bring? Can I tell you my hopes? My dreams? My wishes? I hope Mark finds a better job so we can do more than just barely survive. I would love for him to find a job with health insurance so I am not in constant fear of “what ifs.” My dream is that he would, for the first time ever, have a normal job schedule so that we can see him every day instead of just twice a week. My wish is that those in my life fighting illness will be cured. I pray for them every day and I see glimmers of hope, but I also see the reality that chronic illness holds. I wish them to be healthy and fully alive.
I would like you to pass slowly so I can savor the moments better, but not so slowly that the appreciation of time wears thin.
I would like more laughter and less tears. I want more sunshine that is warm on my face. I want my children to have time to run and play and that their innocence lasts another year; please don’t take that from them.
I pray earnestly that you are the year that creates families for my friends and family who have waited so long. Too long.
Please be gentle, 2015. We, the world, have seen enough sadness. Please let this year be a year filled, not with fear, but with love and acceptance. Welcome 2015. I hope we can be friends.”