At lunchtime it will be 2 weeks since we stood outside waving good bye to Mark as he headed west to his new job and our old home town.
Three hundred and thirty six hours.
No matter how you slice it he has not been here with us. Those 2 weeks have felt like an eternity. Despite talking to Mark every day I feel disconnected.
The kids and I have packed, finished up appointments, finished up school, and even visited family to the east. Mark has worked hard, started running, and looked tirelessly for a home for us.
Our time here is quickly wrapping up. This week I have appointments every single day. Epi-pens have been refilled and we have been given the all clear for C-Dog’s foot (yay!).
So where are we at?
We are in limbo. Mark has a steady job, but no residence. Our residence here ends May 31. I will head home with the kids and the dog but I have no idea where I will be staying. Anyone have a motor-home we can borrow? I am half serious about that. 😉
I have to come back June 4 for Princess’ last dentist appointment. I am praying they have a cancellation and get us in before we move. I also have to be back at the end of the month for Princess’ dance recital (thank you to those who helped us pay for that so she could stick it out) and to drop Bug off at Boy Scout Camp (he sold enough popcorn that camp was paid for!); his last outing with this troop.
I am never one to wish time away, but I must admit I am looking forward to the end of June when we can 100% leave IN behind and have our lives be 100% in MO. July has permission to last twice as long as usual.
The big thing right now is we need a place to live and we need to figure out how to move the rest of our stuff to MO. This is pretty big. We don’t have a plan and that means I have copious amounts of anxiety and the insomnia is creeping back in. My shoulders are carrying the tension. I have to walk that fine line of being honest with my kids but making sure they aren’t seeing the amount of worry I am carrying.
“God always gives us better.” Yes, I still say that because it is true. We have always been cared for and provisions have always appeared when we thought they wouldn’t. I have no idea what the next few weeks hold for us but I have to have faith that we will find a home and a way to get our possessions to MO.
This is hard but I have to try. I have to put the positive ahead of the darkness of the unknown. If I don’t then I will drown in a sea of depression. I can’t allow that. I have little ones who need me. They have to come first.
I miss Mark. He is my best friend and soul-mate. The kids miss him and even the dog misses him. We will survive though. We will see him soon and this moment in time will fade away to a distant memory.