At the Breaking Point

Everyone says “You are never given more than you can handle.” They think it is a comfort but it really isn’t because I honestly do not feel like I can handle anymore. I feel like I will explode. When you are in the thick of a very difficult time you need something more. I do not think there is a “one size fits all” for this situation. I think everyone needs something different. For me it helps to hear success stories; people in a similar situation who then experienced a turn around. A hug also does wonders for me. It feels reassuring.

I am very blessed that many people have found this blog and have shared their stories. The words provide so much encouragement and hope. Strangers have made a complete difference in my life. My husband (and the kids) gives the hugs. He is great at that. ❤

This past month has been a major trial. Between having hurt kids and getting some scary news regarding Zen when we went to his 1 year well child check I was left feeling hopeless. This is on top of the “normal stuff”; Mark looking for work back home, looking for a permanent place to live, friends who are hurting, an uncle with cancer, the health of my wonderful in-laws…. I can’t handle anymore of this. I hit the breaking point.

After a particularly stress-filled and overall “feeling sorry for me” kind of day I got some  amazing news from my husband. The timing was really quite insane and quite perfect.

<drum roll>

Mark will be starting a new full time job back home the beginning of May!

I hit the breaking point and now I am granted access to relief. I can’t even adequately describe the relief I am feeling. It is all consuming and wonderful.

The job doesn’t come with health insurance but it pays more than minimum wage and offers a decent commission. It is full time! Best of all it gets us back to our church, homeschool community, and friends who are family to us.

Mark will go ahead of us because he will need to find us a place to live. He will stay with some friends who are seriously some of the best people we know.

I have last minute doctor appointments to finish up with the kids. We will also finish up our school year and fit in some last minute “stuff.” It is all fitting together quite nicely. Things will never be what they used to be and that is OK. It is a beginning of something new and wonderful.

Thank you all for the help, kind words, encouragement, and mostly the prayers.
The support I am surrounded with is seriously amazing and I really am blessed to have you all as a part of my journey!

I hope you are as excited as I am to find out what is in store for the future! I think I will include smaller posts with updates as we transition into our new journey.


26 thoughts on “At the Breaking Point

  1. It is not true that God will not give you more than you can handle. What is true is that God will be there with you to handle what you could not on your own!!!! I love this blog and I am thankful your lives seems to be getting on a more even keel. Best wishes to you and please don’t forget to depend on God. He is the only one who can carry the load!

  2. I’m grateful that you share your woes and wonders so engagingly in this blog. At any given moment, we all can be dealt a blow, or several, that seem to bring us to our knees . . . and yet, we must keep going so we do. No one knows that better than a Mom with young ones or a senior with a dependent spouse. I’m a writer also, and that’s a lifesaving outlet. It’s always encouraging to receive positive feedback whether sharing a funny-frustrating experience of buying/selling a home or the pain of losing a beloved pet and hearing from folks who can identify with the experience. It’s the way we uplift each other, learn from one another, and keep going. That’s the blessing of it. So thank you, prayers for you and your children, and congratulations on your good fortune!

  3. I am excited about the next venture, happy that there is relief from the stress. Thank you for posting the rough realities of life. You are an encouragement to others.

  4. hi! I’m from the Philippines and it was a blessing that I have tumbled on your website. i love your posts, they are real and your struggles are no different from others, browse sites of people who live in the other side of the world, no shelter, no food, no friends..families who dies of famine and negligence. then you will say, yours is much better. We are both mothers and your struggles are identical to mine. Keep the faith, keep that smile..remember, we are the STRENGTH of our children, we are who they depend is a roller coaster, it has its ups and downs…anyway, life is too short to worry what we cannot control. waiting for more posts…

    • Thank you May Anne! Many blessings to you!

      You are so right on other people’s struggles. It is why, when we had the money, we donated to first responder teams like Convoy of Hope and volunteered at their headquarters. We will once again donate to them now that my husband has found new work ❤

  5. This brought smiles to my evening. What fantastic news. We’re just entering our time of trials as tomorrow is my husband’s last day of work. I look forward to the day when I too can announce that he has found a job–when one of those many leads comes to completion. There is hope.

    I pray that your move and transition goes smoothly and that you can start settling down at home again soon. And thank goodness it happened now, right at the end of the school year when you’re putting things away for summer anyways.

      • I wanted to update you. My husband did find work fast. Exactly one week after his last day of work he began his new job. It was a definite answer to prayer. It is a long story and I blogged it but I didn’t want to post a link here without your permission. Thank you for your prayers!

      • Post the link! And YAY!!!!! I am so excited for you! I have been praying.

        Mark left this week to start his new job. His first day was yesterday. It is so weird. He will be working 40 hours a week. In my entire married life with him he has *always* worked minimum 45 hour weeks and usually 60-80 hour weeks. Now we just need a place to live!

      • Here is our story:

        I totally understand the change of schedule. My husband worked the same kind of hours and was on call 24/7/365 for our entire married life. It is odd to think of him working a straight 8. Praying you find a house and you can move with Mark soon and that you maintain some of your sanity until then.

  6. There really is no one size for comfort. I find that’s so true even in myself. Some situations I want solution suggestions and in another I want a silent hug.

    • I fully agree. It just seems like we are all guilty of trying to one size our comfort to others. I have learned so much and I have been praying I can change how *I* interact with others.

  7. I’m glad to hear that he found a job and that you will be able to get some stability back into your life. I’ll share my story with you, since you said that it encourages you to hear things like that. One year ago I was living in Japan, working a dead-end yearly contract job, and in a dead-end relationship. When my company lost the contract, I lost my job and my apartment (which was in my company’s name). I was sick and tired of Japan as well as my then-boyfriend’s lack of commitment. And I decided it was time to come home. I was working an old summer job and living in my parents’ basement last summer. But I reconnected with an old friend and fell in love, and I got hired on at a full-time job last fall. Now I am engaged and I have a great job. There is truly no telling what difference a little time can make.
    I read a book a few years ago about when God makes people wait. It said something like this: “When one door closes, another opens. But sometimes not right away. When that happens, you are in a hallway. But that is not an accident either, even though it might seem like you’re not getting anywhere. Use the time you are waiting by growing yourself or reaching out to others. It’s not an accident. You’re right where you’re supposed to be.”

    • I love the phrase “use the time by growing yourself or reaching out to others.” ❤ ❤ ❤
      Thank you for sharing! Congratulations on your wedding!!!!! I am a sap and I love weddings so much. New love is so refreshing ❤

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