A Year of Change

Be Brave, have faith, and leap …

There comes a point where you just have to step out in faith or you will be forever stuck. It is scary and exhilarating at the same time. I decided I needed to do just that for 2017; step out of my box of known and face the unknown. I did it in phases which made it slightly easier, but hard nonetheless.


If you have been reading for a while or if you know me, then you know 3 years ago my husband lost his job and it put us in a tailspin. This is a vital part of our story. It changed everything in unimaginable ways that will forever impact us. After a year we found stability in a job that kept us firmly and significantly under the poverty level. We were lucky though. We had help. Lots of help. Randomly things we needed would appear; people and organizations would help us in every capacity. The kids knew life was rough, but they also knew we were blessed.

What they didn’t know is I skipped meals so they could have full bellies. Clothes were from clothing banks and I mended the holes so they didn’t know. Every month we had disconnect notices. A broken down car was like a jail sentence. Not being able to fix it meant if I couldn’t walk there then I wasn’t going. But we survived. We worked hard and scraped by.

And then I broke. Sometimes just surviving isn’t enough. I couldn’t handle the cycle of poverty we found ourselves in. It is suffocating and depressing and hopeless. It is almost impossible to escape from it. The terrifying thing is people live like this and do not have the help we had. How the heck do they manage? The cycle is almost 100% impossible to break from and I knew this, but I was determined because I couldn’t keep living the way we were.

So I took a leap of faith.

In January I took money I had been slowly saving and invested in an opportunity. I started to sell Perfectly Posh. 2017 was the business building year. We now have hope in my future income instead of despair at where we are at.

In the spring I stopped going to the food pantry and clothing bank. Both were huge leaps of faith since I had nothing to replace this help with. I just made a decision to stop going and instead have faith the gap would be filled.

I also started donating little bits to charity. By summer I was tithing to my church and by fall I was rounding that up so the difference could go to helping others in poverty while we ourselves still live in it. Isn’t that ironic? We still don’t make enough to be above the poverty line. However, we are more than surviving …

The biggest leap was deciding I would not get help from any organizations for Christmas. I panicked and thought it was a stupid decision, but deep down I knew I had to as part of my break away from the cycle we were in. So I took a deep breath and told God “I trust you with my business because it is all for your glory and not mine.”

That is when things got weird.

Not knowing we had a need, someone generously gave us gifts for our oldest. They just didn’t want the items anymore and so we got them. We were also given Pokemon trading cards … lots of them. My kids love Pokemon and play every Saturday at a local comic book store. This was a big deal and made for very excited children on Christmas.
My girls were blessed with a new-to-them bike to share. It didn’t stop there … It has been overwhelming. I hadn’t confided to many about my fears of no Christmas; only a select few who know our situation anyway. The people who helped have no idea the depth of their actions. They were miraculously placed in our lives at the right time. I believe in Divine Intervention.

My kids had an amazing Christmas. It wasn’t over the top and most of the gifts were second-hand, but they got things they wanted and things they never dreamed to ask for. They were thrilled. My money went further than it should have. So many stores had discounts that were allowed to be stacked, shipping was free, and then I was able to get cash back through ebates or swagbucks.


Is there stuff I want and even need that I didn’t get? Definitely. But I am OK with that because what we do have shouldn’t even be! This insane leap of faith paid off.

We still have so far to go. I can’t imagine the day we make a real living wage again. We still can’t afford the car we need (we do not all fit in the car we currently have). At the end of the month I still skip most meals so the food doesn’t run out on the kids. There are holes in socks and no plan on replacing them anytime soon. BUT it is so much better than it was. The circle of poverty that surrounds us is crumbling and there is now hope where there wasn’t. All because I couldn’t handle it anymore and took a chance …




ONLY 32 DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS!!!! I AM SO EXCITED!!! I might be in the minority here. Are you stressed? Shopping list a mile long and you haven’t even looked at it? I want to help! Perfectly Posh is a one stop shopping experience for everyone on your list!

This week is Perfectly Posh’s Pink Week. Forget 1 day of deals, Posh is giving us a week! Monday started it all. I am here to let you know what the deals are everyday so you can discover the awesomeness that is Perfectly Posh while getting the best deals possible! Today’s Posh deal is Stocking Stuffers! You can find everything on my site purposefullyposh.com. Here is a list of the sale items (prices for today only).


*NEW! Kissletoe Peppermint Lip Gloss — $15 I NEED THIS!!
*All Sun and Games Green Coffee Body Scrub — $14 (reg $15) Did someone say coffee?
*Bubbles on Bubbles on Bubbles Moisturizing Body Wash — $12 (reg $16) My littles use   this! 
*IndiGo Girl Bombinator Bar — $9 (reg $10) *SOLD OUT* Bummer! Make sure you check   my site everyday when you wake up! 
*Walk on the Beach Dry Body Oil — $16 (reg $24) This stuff rocks! 
*Moisturize 911 Facial Moisturizer — $16 (reg $19) Household favorite!
*Hot and Gold Firming Face Mask — $18 (reg $19) I love this mask! 
*Lemon Wedgie Lip Scrub — $10 (reg $14) Perfect for chapped lips! 
*Blacklisted Sugar and Blackberry Body Scrub — $20 (reg $24) exfoliate & hydrate winter   skin! 
*Catch Me If You Tan Sunning Body Balm — $18 (reg $20) anyone who misses Beach   Blanket needs this!! 
*Absolute Passionfruit Snarky Bar — $14 (reg $16) Snarky bars are my favorite way to   exfoliate! 
*Love Me Dew Hydrating Face Oil — $12 (reg $20) Get fresh faced! 
*Apricots Overnight Moisturizing Face Mask — $19 (reg $22) gentle enough for all skin   types, including kiddos!

Indigo Girl Free

You can find all of these, plus other fabulous products, HERE. As always don’t forget Posh offers B5G1 FREE on most items, plus shipping is flat rate $5.99 no matter how much you order! Even better wys $50+ an amazing Indigo Girl Body Butter will be added to your cart for FREE! Trust me when I tell you that you want this amazing silky, luxurious butter! The romantic candied violet scent will have you swooning!


I want to thank everyone who supports my business so please use promo code THANKFUL when you check out to save $5 off your order! *only good 1 time per account*
Need help deciding what to get? I am here to help! Comment, message me, or find my group on Facebook. Just search purposefullyposh!
Happy Poshing!


Pink Week Day 2

ONLY 33 DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS!!!! I AM SO EXCITED!!! I might be in the minority here. Are you stressed? Shopping list a mile long and you haven’t even looked at it? I want to help! Perfectly Posh is a one stop shopping experience for everyone on your list!

I totally dropped the ball yesterday … For that I apologize. This week is Perfectly Posh’s Pink Week. Forget 1 day of deals, Posh is giving us a week! Yesterday started it all. I figured I would let you know what the deals are everyday so you can discover the awesomeness that is Perfectly Posh while getting the best deals possible. Today’s Posh deal is Stocking Stuffers! You can find everything on my site purposefullyposh.com. Here is a list of the sale items (prices for today only).


NEW! Warm Welcome Big Fat Yummy Hand Crème — $9 (non-greasy & seriously amazing!)
Merry Glitzmas Bath Honey — $15.00 (I want this!)
Shore Perfection Foaming Hand Soap — $13.00 (smells divine!)
Mini Healer Skin Stick 10 Pack — $20.00 *SOLD OUT*
Hips Don’t Lie All Mixd Up — $18.00 (I love this AMU!)
BFF: Best Face Forever Exfoliating Face Wash — $20.00 (you need this. For real)
Whole Lava Love Volcanic Ash Exfoliator — $18.00 (MY FAV!!)
Cackle Spackle Detoxifying Face Mask — $17.00 (my teens’ favorite!)
Calling All Fairies Exfoliating Spun Sugar Face Mask — $14.00 (my 8 year old’s favorite!)
Share Coconut Oil — $10.00 *SOLD OUT*
Gender Bender Body Wash — $11.00 (Hubby’s favorite!)
Sun’s Out, Fun’s Out Replenishing Face Moisturizer — $12.00 (so cooling and fab!)
What a Lovely Pear Lip Scrub — $10.00 (perfect for chapped lips!)
Hairy Beast Shave Gel — $7.00 (We all love this in my house!)


You can find all of these, plus other fabulous products, HERE. As always don’t forget Posh offers B5G1 FREE on most items, plus shipping is flat rate $5.99 no matter how much you order! As a Thank You to everyone who supports my business, use promo code THANKFUL when you check out to save $5 off your order! *only good 1 time per account*
Need help deciding what to get? I a here to help! comment, message me, or find my group on Facebook. Just search purposefullyposh!
Happy Poshing!



What does forgiveness mean to you? How do you define it?

My husband and I were asked this today in therapy. Now before you jump to ideas and think he and I are having martial problems that need forgiving; we aren’t. Is our marriage perfect? No. However, we don’t go to marriage counseling. We go to “life is messy and we would like a person with an outside perspective to walk with us through it” counseling. Not that there is anything wrong with marriage counseling. I think it is a great resource. I just want to be clear so you can understand us just a little.

So we were asked this question “What does forgiveness mean?” I had to think about it because I know what it means but I wasn’t sure how to best describe it.


This is basically what I came up with … Forgiving is freeing yourself, and really the other person also. You don’t even have to tell the other person you forgive them. When you do, the atmosphere and aura change and it positively impacts both of you. Freeing yourself means letting go and moving forward. You are done. You  don’t forget, but you leave it. You are free.

Mark said something similar … you stop feeding into whatever “it” is and you let it die. You move forward. You don’t forget but you leave it in the past.

Our person reminded us it is actually a financial reference (I had totally forgotten this!). The debt is whipped clean. It is gone. You are free.

They all go together. Forgiving helps you and the person who hurt, wronged, or whatever you.

Something pretty heavy and serious happened to us this summer and the actions of one person (not Mark or I) damaged us. We were shaken and hurt to the core. We were left with an enormous gaping hole of hurt. Life is messy and this was the biggest mess yet.
We were asked what will happen if we forgive (person)? How will (person) respond? Does (person) realize forgiveness is even needed?

So we are pondering this.

We were also asked what would happen if we symbolically bury the hurt in the back yard (although I think funeral pyre is more dramatic if we are going for symbolism). If (person) is there to observe will the impact of what happened and how it affected us finally be realized (person thinks simply forgetting and moving on is easy to do, we think otherwise). Will it help with forgiveness? Will it help us be able to stop carrying baggage we don’t want but have no idea how to put down?

It will be an interesting 2 weeks as we figure this out and do an additional assignment we were challenged with. Think about this (and share with me if you want) what does forgiveness in your life look like? What does it mean? Have you ever needed to be forgiven for something serious? Have you ever needed to do the forgiving? What happened when you were forgiven or forgave? Are you free? Or are you still carrying the baggage (I promise not to judge because I still carry mine)?


Huge Change

This year, quite at the last minute, Marco and I decided to place the girls into public school. This is something we talked about ever since we moved into our current school district. When we first moved here we knew the school was a great school, Dee would be going into kindergarten so it would have been great timing. This is what stopped us:

1) Dee had massive anxiety. It was so extreme I was afraid putting her into school would be more harmful than good and I wanted her to love school.

2) The year prior had been awful. Marco lost his job, we lived in different states, and we were homeless. Mark slept on the couch at a friend’s place here and I hopped from place to place. I stayed at an empty house owned by a church, my parents’ house, and hotels. I dragged the kids and dog along with me. It was stressful. The unstable life we led made me want to create a bubble of stability for my kids. I wanted them home with me.

3) Debilitating fear of what the homeschool community would think of me for sending my kids to public school, the fear of being ostracized by homeschoolers and public school mommas since I wouldn’t really fall into either category exclusively, and the fear of being a failure. I feared I had failed at homeschooling my girls. Yes, I realize now that I hadn’t failed, but my fear was real and legitimate.

We finally came to a breaking point. I was burnt out. Dee and I would fight every time I tried to teach her reading. Math and art and every other subject as fine, but reading? Oh my word. It was awful. Math came easy to her, but reading was hard and she would rather play than read. I cried a lot. She cried a lot. It was not how homeschooling should be. One would think the kid with learning issues and special needs would be the one I struggled to teach. Nope.

To make all of this all 100% worse we were in a homeschool co-op that was the worst experience ever. I loved the other moms there, but the leaders were terrible. They believe in 100% unbending conformity (when I told my therapist this he shuddered). They were not nice people and I hated the toxic environment I was in. I knew I wasn’t going to go back there, but at the same time I knew I couldn’t be home 7 days a week with all 5 kids because I was burnt out. Working at minimum 2 jobs and at maximum 4 jobs, I needed help.

All summer long I struggled with “The Great Debate.” Public school or homeschool? Then one of the kids had a medical crisis and I had to make a decision. The day before classes started I walked into the school and signed the girls up. That was a Tuesday. School started Wednesday. The girls first day was Friday. The entire time we never said a word to anyone other than a few very close people. We did not put up first day of school pictures or discuss it at all.

We lived life and no one noticed. This is a little sad because this means no one really paid any attention to subtle things I said or did. However, I get it. I can miss subtly at times also. My homeschooling friends had no idea the girls were gone all day. I mentioned school and they simply assumed I meant homeschool.

Why didn’t I say anything? I didn’t want to deal with the unnecessary questions and remarks. Remarks that are usually untrue and only hurtful.

“Why did you put them in public school?”
“You know public is not as good as it used it be right?”
“Aren’t you scared of bullies and your kids learning immoral things and growing up too fast?”
“They never really get free time or socialization in school. They will burn out.”
“You are being selfish because you are working. Maybe you should quit your jobs” (or what ever reason they come up with)
“They are at school all day and come home to do homework all night. Do you really want that?”
“You are at the mercy of the schools.”
“Why are you still homeschooling the boys?”
“Do you favor the boys?”

Oh the list of snarky remarks and questions is endless. I didn’t want to deal with them because it is no one’s business. Period. So we didn’t say anything. Mark respected my wishes to keep it quiet. Then the girls had school pictures and I posted them…

People were shocked, but the girls are firmly established in school so no one said anything. I could tell a few people really wanted to, but they held their tongues and I am glad they did. A few people were super happy for us. They understood the turmoil I must have gone through because they messaged me to tell me they deal with the same debate. I felt less alone, less like a failure, and more empowered.



My gorgeous, thriving girls. They are world changers.

The girls are thriving! Ry’s teacher refers to her as an “asset.” What an amazing word! She isn’t just a good kid or studious or smart. She is an asset. This means she is valuable to the class and they need her and greatly benefit from her! WOW! I am pretty sure no one ever referred to me as an asset. When I told Ry the compliment she was glowing. What an amazing confidence boost for a 10 year old girl who was trying to fit in to an already established class. When we went to Parent/Teacher Conference we could tell her teacher really loves her! What an amazing feeling! The confirmation we made the right decision is just what I needed.

Delaney, not surprising, is known as a sweet heart. Everyone loves her gentle and kind ways. Dee still has lots of anxiety, but she is coming out of her shell and developing her strengths. School was exactly what she needed in order to spread her wings and fly. The teacher works one-pm-one with her and the fact they all have gathered to be a foundation under her makes my heart swell. They want to see her succeed. They could easily not care, but they do. Adding these positive influences into her life has been only a blessing.

We have no regrets. This was exactly what needed to be done. The boys are thriving at home, Charlie is getting more in depth one-on-one with me; something he desperately needed. I am far more calm and far less stressed. I am able to better focus and I accomplish more.


The days are calmer.

Every family needs to decide what is right for them and their children. Don’t let anyone ever make you feel like you are a failure because you didn’t do things they way they think you should. You do what you need to do and own it! Being supportive is always the better option.


Christmas, Christmas Everywhere!

Perfectly Posh is making me feel all Christmas-y and my husband is not amused at all. He is a die-hard “Christmas doesn’t start until the day after Thanksgiving” type of guy (and please read his quote in a mocking voice because that is how I imitate him about this). I am all like “November 1! BOOM! It is Christmas! Thanksgiving? Psh! Just a warm up for the real holiday!”

OK, so why is Posh making me feel all Christmas-y? Well, let me tell you! They keep releasing amazing holiday themed products! Oh boy! This stuff in da bomb! Sorry, I don’t really talk like that. Two products have already been released!

If you haven’t already, please got check out “It’s beginning to smell a lot like Christmas!” I’ll wait …. (cue Jeopardy song)

Done? Awesome! Now to tell you Posh has 2 more winter items AND 2 more are coming!!! If you can’t do math, that will be a total of SIX holiday themed Posh products!! *cue happy dance*


Last night I got home and was delighted to discover my order arrived. What was in the fabulous Poshy box? Well, there was lots of stuff, but I am here to tell you about Snow & Tell Brightening Face Moisturizer and Love you Snow Much (isn’t that the best name ever?! Gah! So cute!) O2 Bubbling Face Mask.

Wait. What?? Did you just say O2 bubbling face mask? What the heck is an O2 bubbling face mask?

Patience Grasshopper. I will tell you in due course.
First I want to remind you these awesome holiday-themed items are specialty items. One might even call them Limited-Edition. They are available until sold out and if you don’t get them right away there is a chance you will cry when you no longer can get them. You can go HERE to grab them now.

OK, now let’s chat about this really fascinating face mask I mentioned above. What the heck is an O2 face mask, you ask? Well, oxygenating face masks are very trendy right now. They work to remove impurities from the skin and clean out your pores without drying out your skin. The bubbles are tingly and tickly and leave your face clean and refreshed. Perfectly Posh loves adding on-trend products to our line-up so I wasn’t surprised when they introduced Love You Snow Much. “Brighten dull winter skin with licorice root and vitamin B3 in this bubbling gel-to-foam face mask with tingling mint.”


About 3 pumps, rub onto face, leave for about 10 minutes, rinse, pat dry. That’s it!

This mask is effervescent, super peppermint-y, and leaves you with a refreshing, cooling sensation. If you love the feel of BFF, then you will surely love Love You Snow Much. Can I just say, I am really, really obsessed with Love You Snow Much! I am definitely buying several more to have on hand!

The other new product Posh released is Snow & Tell and it was no mistake they released this at the same time as Love You Snow Much. It is the perfect moisturizing follow-up after your new bubbly face mask. “May your face be merry and bright! Licorice root and vitamin C promotes the appearance of more even looking skin tone with moisturizing cocoa and Shea butters.”


Enter a caption

This face moisturizer is going to be the best thing ever for your winter face! Yes, you have a winter face. Our skin needs different things based on the season/weather. My skin is so dry in the winter! I get chapped and red and raw. It is terrible! A good face moisturizer is the only way to protect your skin and prevent raw, winter skin! The combination of cocoa and Shea butters will leave your skin hydrated and fabulous. I plan to stock up on this also. Oh, and did I mention this guy is vegan? Well, it is!

You can get both Love You Snow Much and Snow & Tell for just $19 (not including tax & shipping). If you want to learn more about Perfectly Posh products or maybe you are thinking “Hey, I want get in on this action.” I would love to chat! Send me a message!

Otherwise, put your best (winter) face forward with these 2 amazing products. And don’t forget to pick up some for gifts as well!



Change is Bad …

Have you ever watched Big Bang Theory? If not, WHY????? Do you know who Sheldon is? If not. WHY?????
Seriously, if you haven’t seen it go watch Season 1 real quick and then come back and finish reading my post.

I have a 13 year old and he is Sheldon. OK, not literally, but if you want to know the personality of my 13 year old just think of Sheldon. He has his own chair that is only his and don’t even think about sitting in it, or near it, or even think about sitting in or near it. Heck, just don’t think about it at all.

This is the kid who tries so hard to understand and participate in sarcasm, but last therapy session admitted that he usually has no idea what is going on. He is literal. Period.

This kid knows the name of every single Star Wars Clone Trooper (even the ones with numbers instead of names) and if and how they died. One car ride he sat there rattling them off for 30 minutes before I finally said “Honey, I have no idea what you are talking about.” he continued rattling them off, but at a faster pace, until he was done.

If you already know what he is telling you and you tell him he doesn’t have to finish his thought since you already know….well, sit tight because he HAS to finish his thought. Things are always done in a certain order and in a certain way. This all creates a calm world for him.

Why am I telling you this? Well, it is Halloween and that means the kids will dress up and go door to door and ask for candy. The 13 year old will wear the same costume he wore the last 4 years, a Hershey Bar. And despite my best efforts to get his to say “Trick or Treat,” he won’t. He will say, much to my horror, “Please give me back my relatives.” People will look at him oddly but that is OK, he won’t notice. He will instead tell everyone just how funny he is and how everyone thinks he is hilarious and witty.

Hershey 2014

Halloween 2014 — I don’t remember which cloud storage the previous Halloween pictures are in!  

He tried his costume on today and looked at me and said “I don’t think this will fit me next year.” His look of horror broke my heart. He didn’t say it but you could hear “What will I do?” linger in the dead silence. I am glad he came to this realization on his own. I am glad he has a year to try to come to terms with this reality. However, I know that the future me will have to deal with the future 14 year old’s inability to really “go with the flow.”

Hershey 2015

This was the year we lost the brown knit cap … Halloween was almost canceled. 

So tonight I am going to treasure the last year of the Hershey bar. I am not even going to tell him not to ask for his relatives back. I might roll my eyes, but I will make sure he doesn’t see it.
Tonight is the end of an era. It may not seem significant to you, but it is to the 13 year old and therefor it is to us. Wish us luck!

Halloween 2016

Getting a picture of him is never fun, but he let me do a selfie with him. Not stellar, but I will take it.